As I mentioned in my June post Let Me Breathe!, you sometimes come across a work of art, a writing, a comment that takes you to an emotional space that may have everything to do with the artist’s idea, or seemingly nothing to do with it.
I’ve encountered another such work that was written back in the 1960s or ‘70s, which I haven’t seen or heard before. I suspect most of us remember the late César Chávez, founder of the United Farm Workers. His Prayer of the Farm Workers’ Struggle is profound in its simplicity.
César Chávez (1927-1993)
As I read aloud and reflect on his prayer, I seek to adapt it to the circumstance in which many of us caregivers have found ourselves. After all, suffering is suffering, regardless of the oppressive force. Here’s my attempt, with apologies to Mr. Chávez:
A Prayer for the Caregiver’s Struggle this Holiday Season
Show me my loved one’s hidden suffering;
So I will know her plight.
Free me to pray for him and others imprisoned so;
For you are present in every person.
Help me take responsibility for her life and mine;
So that I can be free at last.
Grant me courage to serve him, though I’m no longer recognized;
For in service there is true life.
Give me honesty and patience;
So that I can share with others caring for their loved ones.
Bring forth song and celebration;
So that the Spirit will be alive among us.
Let the Spirit flourish and grow;
So that we will never tire of the struggle.
Let us remember those who have died with such dread disease;
For they have given us life.
Help us love even when we feel unloved;
So we can transform ourselves, our families, and our world.
Amen.
Thank you, César Chávez, for this unexpected inspiration.
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This prayer that I’ve modeled after Mr. Chávez’s may or may not connect with you. If it does, draw on it deeply. Say it aloud, slowly. Connect emotionally with a word or a phrase. Turn it over in your mind. Allow the spirit of a prayer such as this to move you beyond your point of pain. Don’t rush it or force it. Rest there. As you do, your loved one may begin to reflect your state of mind. At least that happened between Martha and me over the course of our 17-year odyssey through Alzheimer’s. Not every time, but often enough. And it began to embed within my heart and mind a certain resilience, where stubbornness and obstinance had long resided. Such experience is not a one-off thing; as with any other skill, it takes practice.
May this be a truly meaningful time for you, despite the forces swirling around us all this pandemic holiday season. Take good care of yourself and your loved ones. Be safe and be well.
Carlen Maddux
carlen@carlenmaddux.com
www.carlenmaddux.com
PS1 If you’d like to sign up for my blog, it’s free; just click here.
PS2 A good gift this holiday is to give a sheet of Alzheimer’s stamps to a friend, asking them to remember those who no longer can remember. If the stamp is not available at your local post office, you can always buy it online at the USPS store. The net proceeds go to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) for Alzheimer’s research.
